I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
