i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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