pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
