my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
