theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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