Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
