Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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