oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Randomize
