I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
