gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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