Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
