I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
