Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize