So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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