It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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