I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
