I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.