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• (661): View more from California

  Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down

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• (817): View more from Texas

  He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (708): View more from Illinois

  so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  I want to be your penis for a week.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where

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