i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.