Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

No. You're kidding.

(919): View more from North Carolina

I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.

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(919): OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto! (1-919): No. You're kidding. (919): I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth. http://tfl.nu/fp67

Replies (37) Good night (769) Bad night (1237)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.

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(847): I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever. http://tfl.nu/av4z

Replies (15) Good night (847) Bad night (4325)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I am full of burrito and curiosity

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(602): I am full of burrito and curiosity http://tfl.nu/k856

Replies (24) Good night (5422) Bad night (761)
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(949): View more from California

Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way

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(949): Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way http://tfl.nu/t96w

Replies (31) Good night (1850) Bad night (4901)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.

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(401): he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys. http://tfl.nu/w8m7

Replies (28) Good night (1778) Bad night (6853)
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(317): View more from Indiana

He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death

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(317): He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death http://tfl.nu/foc2

Replies (6) Good night (3411) Bad night (1055)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am

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(781): It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am http://tfl.nu/v6r1

Replies (19) Good night (3377) Bad night (1753)
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(646): View more from New York

He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.

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(646): He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was. http://tfl.nu/uwpx

Replies (24) Good night (1143) Bad night (5779)
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(740): View more from Ohio

I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.

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(740): I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am. http://tfl.nu/gox1

Replies (2) Good night (1916) Bad night (673)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.

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(847): Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs. http://tfl.nu/vh12

Replies (3) Good night (706) Bad night (353)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.

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(702): I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up. http://tfl.nu/wodb

Replies (2) Good night (1064) Bad night (300)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert

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(203): I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert http://tfl.nu/7kxa

Replies (2) Good night (457) Bad night (385)
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(720): View more from Colorado

New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.

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(720): New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air. http://tfl.nu/zwsc

Replies (1) Good night (786) Bad night (273)
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(323): View more from California

He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic

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(323): He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic http://tfl.nu/gf3l

Replies (1) Good night (254) Bad night (520)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B

(908): View more from New Jersey

update: I failed

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(908): tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B (908): update: I failed http://tfl.nu/ownp

Replies (4) Good night (303) Bad night (489)

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