Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Houston.. we have a drinking problem..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Houston.. we have a drinking problem.. http://tfl.nu/fbwf
  Replies (5) Good night (1234) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out? http://tfl.nu/ragd
  Replies (48) Good night (947) Bad night (2025)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope http://tfl.nu/v6u5
  Replies (2) Good night (3859) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News. http://tfl.nu/qk7t
  Replies (86) Good night (4718) Bad night (1060)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Princesses don't give blow jobs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): Princesses don't give blow jobs http://tfl.nu/euq0
  Replies (69) Good night (2327) Bad night (5111)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (228): I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference! http://tfl.nu/5ptk
  Replies (50) Good night (10507) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man. http://tfl.nu/hhwz
  Replies (17) Good night (1085) Bad night (6046)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog. http://tfl.nu/k4kj
  Replies (5) Good night (1606) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester http://tfl.nu/tjvn
  Replies (2) Good night (2209) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): He played pinball with my ovaries. He won. http://tfl.nu/otpy
  Replies (8) Good night (1524) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Technically my penis started a fight tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Technically my penis started a fight tonight http://tfl.nu/2ets
  Replies (14) Good night (1267) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids. http://tfl.nu/27z2
  Replies (4) Good night (1390) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public. http://tfl.nu/wfd0
  Replies (3) Good night (912) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom. http://tfl.nu/0o4x
  Replies (1) Good night (292) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong http://tfl.nu/idmw
  Replies (4) Good night (656) Bad night (247)

Randomize