Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!