Texts From Last Night

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  (254): View more from Texas

  I am coming home for anal

  (254): View more from Texas

  * a nap*

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  (254): I am coming home for anal (254): * a nap* http://tfl.nu/ou5x
  Replies (39) Good night (12111) Bad night (1676)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.

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  (401): remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice? (401): we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession. http://tfl.nu/61ek
  Replies (41) Good night (889) Bad night (2723)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch

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  (248): I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch http://tfl.nu/y65i
  Replies (78) Good night (12648) Bad night (900)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?

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  (208): can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened? http://tfl.nu/sf3c
  Replies (23) Good night (4661) Bad night (1335)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?

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  (617): what date should I let him know how fucked up I am? http://tfl.nu/6aws
  Replies (17) Good night (1309) Bad night (4237)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.

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  (559): I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing. http://tfl.nu/i8zl
  Replies (6) Good night (5502) Bad night (1688)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.

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  (613): No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal. http://tfl.nu/2rsl
  Replies (6) Good night (1661) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.

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  (562): It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which. http://tfl.nu/ynpd
  Replies (10) Good night (1258) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?

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  (401): Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra? http://tfl.nu/q2ra
  Replies (4) Good night (601) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED

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  (586): I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED http://tfl.nu/w9fp
  Replies (10) Good night (904) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie

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  (508): Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie http://tfl.nu/abbt
  Replies (5) Good night (1039) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.

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  (908): I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be. http://tfl.nu/dw4c
  Replies (0) Good night (454) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg

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  (702): one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg http://tfl.nu/43te
  Replies (1) Good night (422) Bad night (251)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life

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  (570): Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life http://tfl.nu/7dpz
  Replies (2) Good night (276) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm so proud of us for not dying.

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  (814): I'm so proud of us for not dying. http://tfl.nu/7r3u
  Replies (1) Good night (587) Bad night (258)

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