Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
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