Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
