YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize