They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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