I cockslap morals
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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