oh god the rape fog is back!
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
