were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize