Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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