yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
