i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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