Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
