sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
