I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
