god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
