maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
