so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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