tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
of course. lets lasso hookers.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
