I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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