just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
