everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
