so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
