I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize