wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize