I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
