yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
