I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
