just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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