I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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