i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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