well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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