So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
