as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I need water and some morals
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
