So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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