therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize