You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
