I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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